point proved

Point proved:  Society judges without facts.  Society doesn't care about the human cost of judging others.  While i've always known this, it became crystal clear to me yesterday and as frustrating as it is, I find myself more sad and disappointed than anything.

I am a very compassionate person.  Usually to a fault.  I believe that in general, people are good and even when they make mistakes they are capable of change.  That doesn't mean all people are willing to change but i believe they are capable.  There is a huge difference between willing and capable.

So yesterday on facebook I updated my status to reflect my thoughts on how even though I in no way excuse the actions of the mother who recently killed her baby, i felt it is not our place to judge her.  All i kept seeing yesterday was how people wanted revenge on her.  They wanted to beat her to death.  An eye for an eye.  

My point was only that unless we are sitting on that jury, who are we to judge her and even then, only God can really judge her and no matter what she has to live the rest of her life knowing she killed her child.  To me that is punishment.

I never said that crimes shouldn't be punished.  They should be.  I only said that I think society is too quick to pass judgement without having all the facts and unless and until you walk in someone's shoes, i don't believe we should be so quick to judge others.  

So this then led to a personal attack against me as there were some that commented "the only reason you feel this way is because your fiance is a child molester".  Naturally i defended him as even though he is a convicted sex offender there is more to the story.

These people don't know the story or the circumstances surrounding his conviction.  All they see is what is on  his "public record" (which is not even accurate).  Here is where my point is proved.  They don't have all the facts yet they judge him and me.

The attacks became very personal and of course they hope I rot in hell with him.  Well, they are entitled to their opinions and I knew going into this relationship that i would face such judgement.  It just became crystal clear during all of this how unforgiving society is and how quickly they will judge.

i had one friend privately message me supporting me who said how frustrating all this must be.  Yes, it is frustrating but I'm more sad and disappointed than anything.  It saddens me greatly that people are not compassionate and willing to offer anyone a 2nd chance.  

Don't misunderstand me, I think 2nd chances need to be earned not just given.  But if someone has truly changed and has proven that, then i believe they deserve a 2nd chance.  People do change.  People do learn from their mistakes.

The bitch part of me hopes that those who are so quick to judge will have to someday know what it's like to be judged themselves and then i can laugh in their face and say "ha ha, now you know what it feels like".  But the better part of me hopes that noone ever has to experience being judged like this.  

And typically it's those who are so quick to judge others that are guilty of something themselves.  I always remember that when you point a finger at someone, you have 3 pointing back at yourself.  It's too bad that those that are so high and mighty won't realize how wrong they are until something happens and they find themselves in the position of being judged.